what do you do when you feel nothing but emptyness?
how have i come this far feeling souless
i seek closeness through pleasures of the flesh
and time and time again its proven that i just feel empty and hollow
i feel like its really my destiny to be alone
i feel like ive never been loved by a hand thats touched me
sometimes i just feel like my world and head are just caving in
i work 120 hours a week and have nothing to show for it
ive been alive for almost 22 years and feel like ive done nothing but fail
nothing hurts like your mouth and your actions
when i know that theres nothing i can do
when we lie in bed and i kiss oyu and you dont kiss me back
when all i want to do is please you and to show you that some 1 cares
i know that you dont and never will
why do i do this
because i felt that ive done it to some 1 else
some 1 who tried to do the same to me and i pushed her away
the only way can feel like i can be forgiven is to put myself through the same hell
why the fuck have i never been good enough for any 1?
where the hell was my mom?
where the hell was my sister?
ive been so directionless all my life
i hate feeling like this is my fault but to some degree it has to be
cause if i am not strong enough to change things then i deserve it
its by my own undoing then i shall fall?
strength and those who have it make the rules
money power all that
havent i learned that that is the dark side?
but what am i suppose to do
follow a religion that dosnt exist?
start wearing a robe and "using the force"?
or am i suppose to be the only bright flame in a darkness that has spread so far as to touch my very soul?
if i would lay there and kiss you because i know that i will probably never get the chance again
what kind of person does that make me
havent i always said id rather die then to become something like what i have become?
how is it i can lie in bed with girls and feel nothing?
thats why the whole foreign chicks thing has been so awsome
every three monthes new girls
no connection nothing to feel
i am so lost i cant even begin to find the way