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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in darthking2000's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010
10:19 pm
i wonder how much longer i can fight this coldness thats over taking me.. all of this rage and pure hatred... this darkness thats taken ahold of my soul and wont seem to go away..

(go to the dark side)

Monday, November 2nd, 2009
11:47 am
well hello there america
meet my wife olga well be in ur fair country in a month
starting a life..
i dont think ne 1 reads this stuff ne more if u do then u must be an old friend of mine so forgive me if i start useing this for personal reasons...


sooo what do we need what problems will we face in america?
1 get married since america dosnt recongnize ur marriage in russia....
2 the girl wants a honey moon in fucking cali ur already straped for cash figure that one out scott come on there got to be some magic jedi way to pull that one out of ur ass..
i dont want to go to cali i want some cabin in the middle of nowhere..
well its not about what u want is it? stop being selfish im not being selfish i just fucking dont want to go to california theres no fucking point in it yea theres a point its called ur wife is moving to america and wants to go see cali because its her dream so stop being selfish and take her there..well what about the money situation and not to mention im the only one driving.. ok but look uve got family all over make some connections and make it happen u can go see ur babushka and jaja and aunt u should also realize that u just had an argument with urself in livejournal and probably need medical help..well i can type just as fast as i speak so it helps to write it out? good point.you should have done it in russian though then u would have been the shit..ah fuck off..
3 get olga a cell phone..
4 teach her how to drive..
5 teach her english
6 dont let her be so lonely and make sure she knows shes loved..
ok soooo what are you going to do about the fact that you have no money and no job.. im guessing i can get a loan and start my own buisness..
well u pretty much have to..
i dont know what to say all the cards are almost out your betting alot on this hand i hope its a good hand..cause if you lose this pot ur kinda up shits creek without a paddle..
true but hey im 24 ive got a super hot fucking russian wife..that you ordered on the internet lol.. yea i wish i wouldnt have to have came to russia then lol.. i wonder how many people are going to say that and if ur going to hit them..probably..think about that..what hitting people? yea sure that works..iw ish u could get a job just hitting people thad be sweet..hey what about that one guy that just runs around and hits people in the nuts? i bet u could do something like that... or what about bryans idea to do a talk show with you..its a radio show isnt it? yea that could be fun.. ha uve got the face for radio.. yea why dont u tell that to my hot ass russian wife cause u can do better right? actually u did a really good job there fathers a senator shes good education pretty mellow lets u do what u want most of the time.. cant really complain.. well i wish she was more patient.. yea thats a good point she can learn that though.. going to miss all ur russian friends.. americans arnt like russians at all the not sincere.. yea im going to miss the food as well..fuck america..yea well it will be a better life ina merica then in russia..shit you know ur going to have to make ur house russian with a banya and all that shit right? yea i know that were going to have a garden and all kinds of things..i hope so i miss the garden already and the banya well then go get in it..
ah i will later..ok so just take a deep breath and relax and get ready for the move
and remember the force moves with you and will be with you ....always

(go to the dark side)

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
3:10 pm
i get it now i really do..
i know where my mistakes were and i can change this
the jedi were told to not love for a good reason

i think i am fianlly going crazy
i love you and i cant change that
but one day ill reach that distance shore where i wont miss you anymore

(go to the dark side)

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
5:23 pm
lol
начинать над будет самая лучшая вещь в мире. я люблю влюбленность России iego мой супруга и я поистине счастлив здесь. я как раз думал что я буду класть это в мою причину журнала иногда свое funny как изменение вещей своя большая причина я начало излишек и я нашел дорогу держать

(go to the dark side)

Friday, December 7th, 2007
3:58 am
i will
be free again soon
a big change is coming but i think it is a good setllement for the epic story of scott king
those of you who know me well enough realize how bad i have wanderlust
i hate being stuck here in savannah

so a couple of monthes ago i met a russian girl
still together and still talking
shes coming back to america in feburary
im going to russia in augest r september
yea i met the only girl in the world who would rather live in russia then amerika

but theres 3 possiblites r 4 really
1 i move to russia and work for her dads construction CORPORATION
yea not company r any thing like that a inc if i marry his daughter i get a car a house and a job
problems with that I cant really pronounce alot of things in russian reading it is fine but theres some sounds they make that i swear to god its like there speaking huttese
and i really dont know enough about big time construction stuff like skyscrapers
and i imagine my father in law will terach me but im sure hed just get frustrated and push me off a building
2 go back to working on boats as a able body seaman 3 weeks out to sea 1 week off 2k a week +overtime thats at least 8k a month and id have no car no rent no nothing so every week id just go back home to russia
theres no problem with this scenario
3 the only way shell move to america is if it is a realy big city like new york or some bull crap like that
im a small town country boy i hate the city i love the wilderness did new york hated itand it would be the same scenario as 2



or just maybe 4
i say fuck the whole thing cry like a little bitch for about a month followed by a month of really heavy drinking and get over her and move on
smartest thing to do but i kinda guess i love her
or i could just really think that this girl is about the best i can do
hot small likes to cook likes all the things i like and loves me to death
plus wed have cute babies?!..?
lolz

(go to the dark side)

Sunday, November 4th, 2007
1:21 am
HAHAHAAHAHAH
so im sitting at the bar tonight

and he conversation goes like this


eddy: so you know allison and doug broke up
scott: {spew beer cough spartiaclly} WHAT!!!
eddy :yea it was {i intrupt}
scott: ive umm got to go i just rememberd i ve got to ummm return some videos to the store
grab coat and run for motorcycle while dialing allys number
eddy:HEY
scott: yea?
WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT

(1 sith | go to the dark side)

Thursday, September 20th, 2007
5:32 am
one day
i woke up today sober
as the rain was coming down
and all i could think about was that one day
when ill be back around
if this keeps me away much longer
i dont know what ill do
youve got to understand that its a hard life im going through
and when the night fallis in around me
i dont think that ill make it through
ill use ur light to guide the way
cause all i think about is you
work is gettting kinda crazy
and my heart is getting kinda cold
i keep my head from getting lazy
and i just cant wait to get back home
and all these days i spend away
ill make this up to you i swear
cause i need your love to hold me up
when its all to much to bear

(1 sith | go to the dark side)

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
4:31 am
god damit fuck you fuck you
im a mistake?
god damit you have no idea how pissed off i am right now
how dare you tell me you love me and then tell me it was a mistake
im so fucking tired of all of every1ns bullshit
i want to do nothing but love some 1 and all i get is bullshit
its time to end this and focus on the real shit that i need to do
its time to focus on working out and work
cause i fucking hate american women

(go to the dark side)

Saturday, September 15th, 2007
6:12 am
theres no need to be afraid
to think that i might not see those eyes
look into mine with that loving look
it makes me sad and want to cry
and even if you can not hear my voice
ill be right beside you dear
even when i scream and yell your name and you cant hear me
have heart

(go to the dark side)

Friday, September 14th, 2007
3:54 am
when i sit here
sometimes i think about you and the life we almost shared together
i wonder sometimes what you would say to me if you had the chance
would you be proud of what i became?
how could you be if im not?

(go to the dark side)

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
1:30 am
awake
i pray for daylight
i pray for morning
cause then this night will be over
and the pride that i have shown over these years
finally has shown that it has robbed of me of everything that i have let it


the deception of everything that has been around me for the longest is starting to fall
i cant blame people the way that i want to for my own failures

sometimes there is no big mystery or grand scheme
its just me fucking things up

(go to the dark side)

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
2:13 am
what do you do when you feel nothing but emptyness?
how have i come this far feeling souless
i seek closeness through pleasures of the flesh
and time and time again its proven that i just feel empty and hollow
i feel like its really my destiny to be alone
i feel like ive never been loved by a hand thats touched me
sometimes i just feel like my world and head are just caving in
i work 120 hours a week and have nothing to show for it
ive been alive for almost 22 years and feel like ive done nothing but fail
nothing hurts like your mouth and your actions
when i know that theres nothing i can do
when we lie in bed and i kiss oyu and you dont kiss me back
when all i want to do is please you and to show you that some 1 cares
i know that you dont and never will
why do i do this
because i felt that ive done it to some 1 else
some 1 who tried to do the same to me and i pushed her away
the only way can feel like i can be forgiven is to put myself through the same hell
why the fuck have i never been good enough for any 1?
where the hell was my mom?
where the hell was my sister?
ive been so directionless all my life
i hate feeling like this is my fault but to some degree it has to be
cause if i am not strong enough to change things then i deserve it
its by my own undoing then i shall fall?
strength and those who have it make the rules
money power all that
havent i learned that that is the dark side?
but what am i suppose to do
follow a religion that dosnt exist?
start wearing a robe and "using the force"?
or am i suppose to be the only bright flame in a darkness that has spread so far as to touch my very soul?

if i would lay there and kiss you because i know that i will probably never get the chance again
what kind of person does that make me
havent i always said id rather die then to become something like what i have become?
how is it i can lie in bed with girls and feel nothing?
thats why the whole foreign chicks thing has been so awsome
every three monthes new girls
no connection nothing to feel
i am so lost i cant even begin to find the way

(go to the dark side)

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
4:36 am
god damit
im so tired of being fucking used its ridiculious
how the hell am i ever suppose to love nay 1 if i cant trust any 1??????
alone
i guess thats it isnt it
just alone
ive spent my whole life just trying to feel loved
to not become cold
to not become just consumed with the anger and hatered at the fact that all of you can feel and hold one another and feel something and i am denyed this thing that makes us all feel worthwhile
theres slowly but surely something thats just eating away at me
i hate knowing the fact that no matter what i do i will never have a home
how do you deal with feeling nothing but emptyness with no outs
how do you deal witht the fact that you have been betrayed by just about every single person in your life. that you cant really trust any 1
god if i wouldnt burn in all eternal hell for my sins id blow my fucking brains out

(go to the dark side)

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
2:47 am
building blocks
with so much death thats been going around recently it kinda scares e a little
and i dont know why
theres a lot of things that i wish i could do to make better
miss alot of people that used to be in my life
jamie dying was a big blow to me when i was younger april dying nearly destroyed me
i wonder how noel is doing
i raelly miss her
sometimes i catch a nice breeze flowing and i can almost smell her purfume'i imagine kissing her under the mistletoe at christmas
i went looking for her but i didnt find her
but it was only a half ass look
sometimes i just long for the warmth of days gone by when she was mine but those days have only turned into memoires. i wish that i wouldnt have left like that. i think is the reason i miss her is because i know that i messed up.
\its funny isnt it the fact that i am surronded by awsome loving and buetiful russian girls and still i am not happy
its really hard sometimes not having any 1 to talk to
i wish i had a family or felt like i belonged
but theres really no one there
i hate my dad who has done nothing but lie and hurt me. my mom was nothing but a lying whore who i am beyond angry with. my sister was quite a dissapointment i thought that there would be something there but it seems as though she is just my mothers puppet now
i wanted her to get out while she could but shes going to stick with some 1 who only looks out for themselves. i feel sorry for her children. i wish that i could be there for them but i cant sit idilely by and watch them become fucked upu in the head because my mother has some wierd thing where shes trying to replace me or have me again. i knew all this was going to happen..
i hate being right.
i guess if nothing i could marry olga and move to russia..
i just dont know if i can
cause to me i think thats running away
i just dont know how to make myself happy
even if i stay here and plans go like i plan and in 5 years i have my empire what then?
i raelly like amanda but it really sucks being told that i am wasting my time
i think that the biggest reason i like her is because i see her as an equal?
i hate being up so late because i start to think about things
its so dumb i have 3 awsome jobs i live rent free and i have hot women who want me feed me kisss me do my laundry do everything for me

wait actually i am pretty happy
it just suxs not treally having any1 t talk to

(go to the dark side)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007
4:01 am
i hate being awake at 4 oclock in the mornin
and i also hate when u completly change ur life because of some small bs matter that is easily taken care of by itself


and i also fucking love slash hate my cat

(go to the dark side)

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
4:20 pm
i know
where u are
all i have to do is take that step


and then watch it all crumble down

(go to the dark side)

7:48 am
stupid
i hate the fact that to fix my past

i have to destroy my future

i know where she is

the greastest mistake in my life

so now i have to go track u down

and fix it

(go to the dark side)

Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
6:00 pm
its so hard
sometimes to start over in a new place like this
im so lost and its cold all the time
i miss fmy old friends
or his old friends
when u have become lost to all the things that u used to know then u in a since die
and theres nothing that connects me to hugh scott king
im so much stronger now
theres othing holding me back
nothing

(go to the dark side)

Sunday, January 28th, 2007
11:32 pm
done
well im alive
and thats pretty awsome
so im free
free at last
boo ya bitches

(2 siths | go to the dark side)

Saturday, January 27th, 2007
11:18 pm
done?
thats a bottle of vodka and 80 drhamamine
im so fucked up right now
my chest burns and nothing is really straight
but is gr8 cuase thats burning feeling is me just burninin u out
this almost killed me last time but i think im going to live
hhaahhahah
take that life
u couldnt kill me even if u wanted too
im so fucking tired
and im bleeding alot
i wonder when thats going to stop
at least im done with the fucking life debt

(go to the dark side)

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